


I.M what I am, and what I am is in love

by CreateOwnHell



Category: GOT7, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, Lim Changkyun | I.M-centric, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Romantic Comedy, another mess from your local mess, changkyun is so in love, changkyun is such a kihyun's boy, help the poor boy, his mother kihyun is in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreateOwnHell/pseuds/CreateOwnHell
Summary: It only took one chance meeting for Changkyun to fall in love with everything that is Youngjae.And he is determined to see him again and start something.''Kihyun, you are fucking useless, and Jooheon, get in the car we are going Youngjae hunting.'' - Lim Changkyun, two thousand whatever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cellyne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cellyne/gifts), [jhengchie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhengchie/gifts).



> BTW ATTENTION!!! this is more of a warm up for me to familiarize myself with GOT7. As I’m trying to write the longer Monsta X/GOT7 on the sidelines (Which will align with the Lim, I don’t get paid enough for this shit, Changkyun fic) THANK YOU Cellyne and jhengcie for inspiring and giving me ideas, so look out for it *winks with both eyes because I can’t wink*  
> But until then, here enjoy this small nonsense~  
> Because I suck at managing things, stuff.

’’Is everything alright with you? You have been sighing ever since you got back and sat here. It was what, 10 minutes ago.’’ Kihyun turned off the sink and put the last remaining dishes into the dishrack.

’’Hey hyung…’’ Changkyun fiddled his earphone in his hand.

‘’What’s up Kyunnie?’’ Kihyun wiped his hand on the apron, turning around to pay attention to the troubled boy sitting on the table.

‘’What am I going to do? He is so cute’’ Changkyun lied down across the table, whining and letting out other incoherent voices.

‘’Wow, I don’t think I have ever seen you like this. Who stole my son’s heart?’’ Kihyun nudged the poor boy in crisis.

‘’Kiiihyun, I’m in pain here. Help.’’

‘’Fine fine. Tell me everything.’’ Kihyun sat himself down across the other, eyes scanning the distressed young one.

 

‘’So, I was walking around, because I was bored. I ran into Youngjae and Jaebum. Ah that reminds me, Jaebum said to tell Shownu, he should call him.’’ Changkyun ran out the kitchen to pass on the words to the leader and was back in half a minute.

‘’Where was I? Right.''

And Changkyun was describing the events down to the very last detail, like how the sun reflected from Youngjae’s eyes to how the wrinkles in his shirt made him look adorable. Honestly, Kihyun wanted to puke because of the cheesiness.

‘’Anyways, he does this eye smile thing, you know kinda like Shownu-hyung.’’ This made Kihyun blush, but he didn’t say anything. ‘’Except it made my heart speed up. And I wanted to see it more. I wanted to be the reason he smiled.’’ Changkyun let out a sigh. ‘’You understand what I’m talking about right? Don’t you want to be the reason Shownu-hyung smiles?’’ There was a shy smile on the younger one’s face.

‘’But how do I meet him again? Ugh.’’ Changkyun grabbed his head in frustration.

‘’You could ask Jooheon? He is best friends with Jackson.’’

‘’Hi Jooheon I fell in love at first sight with your best friend’s group member Youngjae, be a matchmaker for us, will you?’’

‘’Tone down on the sarcasm. I didn’t mean it like that.’’

‘’I know, sorry. I just…’’ Changkyun exhaled loudly, ‘’wanna hold his stupid hand and kiss his stupid face and be near his stupid self.’’ He let his head fall on the table, having a staring contest with the wall he was facing.

‘’Ever considered, I don’t know, telling him?’’ Kihyun asked.

‘’I’ll confess to Youngjae, if you tell the leader how you feel about him.’’ Changkyun said, smirking. He knows all about the _Yoo, smitten for Shownu so whipped for Shownu, Kihyun._

‘’Aishh, this kid…’’ Kihyun was motioning to hit him, but not really. ‘’I can’t do that. The guy is straighter than anyone I’ve ever met.’’

‘’You need glasses dude; everyone knows he’s got the hots for you. If you are not glued to him, he finds his way to you, it’s almost embarrassing.’’

‘’You really think so?’’ Kihyun’s eyes lit up, relief and hope written loudly on his face.

The door to kitchen opened and Jooheon stepped in.

‘’Yo Kyunnie, wanna join me? I’m gonna meet up with Jackson and Youngjae will be tagging along.’’ Jooheon asked, putting an arm around Changkyun.

Changkyun looked at Kihyun who was staring back at him giving him a thumbs up.

‘’Um, sure.’’ Changkyun said coolly, trying to appear calm, while on the inside he was doing at least ten different types of happy dances.

This is his chance to get closer to the one and only Youngjae, and he’ll be damned if he let’s go of this chance.

‘’Let’s go then.’’ Jooheon dragged Changkyun after him and he heard a distant _good luck_ being yelled by Kihyun.


	2. Chapter 2

‘’I’m going to be honest with you Kyunnie,’’ Jooheon sounded serious, ‘’it was getting depressing seeing you alone. I know you love your solitude and what not…’’

‘’But nothing Honey. I’m fine.’’ Changkyun shoved his hands in his pocket. He knows Jooheon is just worried, but there is no reason for that. He really just enjoys being alone a lot.

Well except now that he has his heart set on someone.

‘’Ok.’’

‘’That’s it?’’

‘’Yea. Why?

‘’Nothing.’’ Changkyun almost regretted coming along. That was until Jooheon yelled Jackson’s name, did he looked at same direction as Jooheon.

Panic was making a way into his heart, because of my god, in about ten seconds Youngjae with Jackson will reach them.

In about 5 seconds Jackson and Jooheon will do their bro thing.

In about 0 seconds Changkyun forgot how to breathe because Youngjae said hi to him.

And he is standing there, gaping like an idiot.

Is this how monbebe feel when they get to meet them at fan meetings. Changkyun almost feels bad, because he is now in that situation.

Except Youngjae is still smiling at him despite the lack of social skills Changkyun seems to have.

‘’Ay man it’s been forever since we last met up.’’ Jooheon was giving Jackson a hug.

Changkyun and Youngjae stood there awkwardly as the two best friends reunited.

‘’Hi.’’ Changkyun, after having gone through 5 stages of grief in his head, answered.

Youngjae took it as a sign. A sign to get the other one relax more.

‘’Where to now?’’ Youngjae asked with a cheery voice, looking from Jackson to Jooheon to Changkyun.

Changkyun swears that just now he saw Youngjae turn into a puppy, by the way he acted just now.

‘’I’m fine with whatever.’’ Changkyun, the man of many words, truly a son of Shownu.

‘’Didn’t you wanna go shopping for new _more fashionable_ clothes?’’ Jackson was poking fun at Youngjae.

‘’Hey, I’m fashionable,’’ pointing at Jackson and the he looked at Changkyun, ‘’Right?’’ Youngjae was giving Changkyun puppy eyes.

Oh my god Changkyun wants to die, this was the cutest thing he has ever seen.

‘’Well we have a schedule in about 2 hours, and I haven’t eaten anything since morning.’’ Jackson said, suggesting to go and eat. ‘’I’ll pay.’’

No, the three idiots didn’t squeal like little children, looking at Jackson like he was god who handed them everything they wanted in life, on a silver platter.

 

 

‘’It’s like looking at you and Shownu-hyung. Except Youngjae isn’t going around biting Jackson.’’ Jooheon was looking at the Jackson running away from the tortures Youngjae might bring.

‘’That’s because Jackson’s arms are off limits because of you. I’d nibble his arms already if it weren’t for you.’’ Changkyun said nonchalantly, he was a little busy being bitter about Youngjae hanging on Jackson.

‘’You want Youngjae to be around you like that, don’t you?’’

‘’Yes… wait.. what. NO!’’ Changkyun was screwed. ‘’Why would I want that, I barely know the guy.’’

‘’Aaah kkukkungie, you are my best friend, and I’ll be damned if I can’t read you like an open book.’’ Jooheon was pinching Changkyun’s cheeks. ‘’I was there with you yesterday when we ran into JB and Youngjae. You should have seen yourself.’’

Changkyun was trying to wave Jooheon away from him, which made Jooheon attack Changkyun even more. ‘’You were hanging onto every word that left Youngjae’s mouth. I mean the boy was talking about… What was he talking about again?’’ Jooheon stopped momentarily to think, but nothing came to him.

‘’He was talking about his dog Coco.’’ Changkyun gave Jooheon a look.

‘’See, I didn’t know because I wasn’t really focusing on what he was saying.’’ Jooheon felt a little guilty.

‘’That’s because you were talking Jaebum’s ear off, and by that, I mean all you did was ask the man about Jackson.’’

‘’Hey, can’t a guy ask about his bro in peace.’’ Jooheon laughed, which made Changkyun snicker as well.

 ‘’I want to get to know him more. But I don’t know how. It’s a miracle I got to see him two days in a row.’’ He looked a little sad after that.

Jooheon wrapped his hand around Changkyun’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. ‘’Just ask for his number.’’

Changkyun snorted at that. _Yeah right_.

Finally, they got to a fast food restaurant. Everyone was basically all dreamy eyes and imaginary saliva dripping.

‘’Don’t go overboard with what you want, just because I said I’ll pay doesn’t mean I’m rich.’’ Jackson said to the others except it was mostly aimed at Youngjae, the boy eats so freaking much, like his stomach is an endless pit.

They sat down in one of the booths, Jackson next to Jooheon. Leaving Changkyun next to Youngjae.

How come hasn’t Changkyun realized how beautiful Youngjae’s profile is.

‘’Is there something on my face?’’ Youngjae touched his cheek self-consciously.

‘’Ah no, you’re good. It’s fine.’’ Changkyun just can’t seem to form sentences around him. This is horrible, he is sitting next him and he wants to run away.

‘’Here are your orders’’ their waiter said, pulling Changkyun out of his mind. He has never been more thankful in his entire life than he was now.

All four dug into their foods like it was the final dinner.

And by some god damn miracle, Youngjae managed to get Changkyun to talk to him more than few words.

 

‘’I often play the piano when I can, it’s my favorite instrument.’’ Youngjae was talking about it so passionately.

‘’Really? I would love to learn how to play it.’’ Changkyun said, up to this point he didn’t care about the piano, not so much that he wanted to learn. But suddenly, piano is his favorite instrument.

‘’Oh I could teach you. You know what, give me your number, we’ll work something out.’’ Youngjae already pulling out his phone from his pocket.

‘’That would be awesome.’’ Changkyun grinned, and told him his number.

‘’Now you have mine as well.’’ Youngjae gave Changkyun thumbs up after he called on his phone.

_Ask for his number my ass._

Changkyun is so glad he didn’t have to ask for Youngjae’s number because it would have been too awkward for him, but Youngjae did this so casually and made it look so easy.

They continued to talk for a while, until Jackson reminded Youngjae that they need to go.

 

‘’I’ll text you later yes?’’ Youngjae asked shyly.

Changkyun nodded and the two pairs parted their ways.

‘’So… Kyunnie…’’ Jooheon was smirking. ‘’Since when are you into pianos. Oh, are you going to play your original piece at your wedding to him. Waaa that’s so romantic. Kihyun is already cringing, I can sense it.’’ His laughter was contagious and soon Changkyun joined in, but didn’t answer.

‘’Aaah, they grow up so fast.’’ Jooheon wiped away his non-existing tears and patted Changkyun’s head. ‘’Let’s go.’’

Jooheon is going to kill him with the teasing. Changkyun was blushing the entire walk back to the dorm.

 

Changkyun was lying on his bed, trying to write lyrics when his phone vibrated. He opened it to see that Youngjae had sent a message.

 

 **Youngjae** : I listened to your rapping

 **Changkyun** : Yea?

 **Youngjae** : I loved it, your voice is really sexy

 

And no, Changkyun didn’t squeal like a maiden in love, and he most definitely didn’t drop his phone and roll on the bed blushing. Because he is a man, a manly man, very mature with a deep manly voice.

‘’I’m a man.’’ Changkyun said out loud, forgetting he wasn’t alone in the room.

‘’Yes you are, now go the fuck to sleep.’’ Hyungwon groggily said, throwing a pillow in his face.

 

 **Youngjae** : I’m sorry, was that weird?

 **Changkyun** : ah no, it’s fine, thanks

 **Youngjae** : hahaha good, you didn’t answer so I thought…

 **Changkyun** : nah Minhyuk came in the room and wanted my help with a game.

 

Changkyun slapped himself mentally, for lying to Youngjae. It’s not that much of a big lie, but he still felt a little guilty for doing it. He could have said Hyungwon threw a pillow in his face, but that would have raised questions from Youngjae.

 

 **Youngjae** : alright. Okay I’m going to sleep, I gotta wake early, sweet dreams Kyunnie

 **Changkyun** : u too, sunshine.

 **Youngjae** : O///O

 

Changkyun went to sleep, with the biggest smile on his face. Completely unaware, that Youngjae was in the same state as he was.

 

The first thing Changkyun did, when he woke up, was to run into the kitchen

‘’KIIIHYUN!!’’ Changkyun’s yelling was heard across the dorm.

‘’Do you have to yell? I’m not deaf Kyunnie. But I will be if you keep screaming every time you need me.’’ Kihyun scolded the youngest.

‘’Sorry, right, sorry, yea you are right.’’ Changkyun was rambling and fidgeting on the chair, unable to sit still.

Changkyun looked like he wanted to discuss something serious, and Kihyun’s face softened. He kicked his leg and someone rose behind the counter, Changkyun hadn’t noticed.

‘’Shownu-hyung?’’ Changkyun was startled. What the hell was he doing there, hiding? He was giving the look of _you owe me an explanation_ to Kihyun, and Kihyun wanted to fall through the floor.

‘’I’ll leave you two be.’’ Hyunwoo said to the two and left quickly.

‘’So what do you want to talk about?’’ Kihyun asked casually, praying that Changkyun lets it go.

‘’Forget about me, what was, ‘’ Changkyun pointed at the spot where Hyunwoo had been earlier, ‘’that all about?’’ the grin very evident on his face.

‘’I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.’’ Kihyun winked but somehow managed to fail miserably.

‘’Give me food and I’ll talk.’’ Changkyun drives a hard bargain.

 

Meanwhile Youngjae

‘’JAEBUM!!!’’  Youngjae hugged the leader and attempted to raise him up.

‘’What is it dude?’’ Jaebum tried to wriggle himself free from the embrace, it’s way too early for this much energy.

‘’Being in love is great.’’ Youngjae said dreamily, finally let go the poor struggling man.

‘’Do tell.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally planned on this to be like idk 900 words at most.. but woa i rly outdid myself xdd   
> a mess~
> 
> everytime i start working on this fic , KNK-LOVE YOU plays on repeat , love me that soft sound


	3. Chapter 3

‘’Did I interrupt something? ‘’ Changkyun had a sly smile on his face.

‘’Yes, yes you did. Also who the hell wakes up so early when we only have one thing on schedule and it starts in the evening.’’ Kihyun scolded poor Kyunnie. ‘’Except me, because I have things to do.’’

‘’So, I’m guessing something happened between you and Shownu last night?’’ Changkyun dragged his words, to get under Kihyun’s skin.

‘’No, forget it. Next topic.’’ Kihyun was flustered. He kept avoiding Changkyun’s eyes.

‘’Oh come on, don’t be shy.’’ The maknae kept pestering, looking at him with wide eyes, acting all cute to melt Kihyun.

He almost gave up, but then he heard Kihyun let out a tired gasp. The one you know that the person just wants you to shut up and will give you what you want.

‘’Fine, just so you’d let me live. Yesterday after you and Jooheon left, I had to go shopping for food…’’

 

_‘’Shownu!’’ Kihyun shouted for leader’s attention. He needed to tell someone where he was going, so no one would be confused about his missing presence._

_Shownu came to the source of the sound._

_‘’I’m going shopping for a week’s worth of food. Thought I’d tell someone.’’ Kihyun was putting on his shoes._

_‘’Mind if I tag along? We can just write a note to others.’’ Shownu asked, he looked so small and embarrassed asking it._

_‘’Uh sure, I mean I could use help carrying all that food back. Everyone eats so much,’’ Kihyun mused, pointing at Shownu’s chest, ‘’especially you.’’ He chuckled at that._

_Shownu just smiled, before grabbing his coat. It’s not like Kihyun was lying. He is just so hungry all the time, thank god for Kihyun’s existence or he would have starved._

_The walk to the nearest store was silent. Neither of them said anything, but it wasn’t awkward either. They have long gotten past the awkward stage by now. It was just comfortable._

_Suddenly Shownu pulled Kihyun to the empty street corner, away from the people’s view._

_Kihyun was so confused, what came over him?_

_The way Shownu was prisoning him between the cold brick wall and his strong physique, made Kihyun think things._

_‘’I like you, I like you so much. More than I should, more than a friend. I thought I was better off not telling anyone, especially you. But I got this overwhelming fear that I will lose you, lose my chance if I don’t act now.’’ The leader, the epitome of strength, the one who everyone leans on when they feel weak. Kihyun has never seen the man to be this small._

_It took him a moment to register what Shownu said._

_‘’You fool,’’ Kihyun grabbed one of Shownu’s arms, ‘’I have been pining for you for a while now.’’ Kihyun laughed, and rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes, taking in the fact that Shownu said he likes him, and he said it back._

_He felt a warm hand caressing his cheek. Kihyun leaned into the touch._

_My god it felt better than he imagined._

_‘’Kihyun…’’ Shownu whispered into his ear. Kihyun opened his eyes, to ask what’s wrong. When he was interrupted by Shownu kissing him. And just like that Kihyun’s mind was empty, and all he could focus on was the soft lips on his. He kissed Shownu back._

_They both felt like teenagers in that moment, kissing in the dark hidden alley._

_‘’Wanna take this back to home?’’ Shownu hinted at something, and Kihyun understood because all he did was nod._

_The walk back was faster, both emitting happiness, walking side by side and their hands brushing against each other._

_When they got back to the dorm, from where they left only 5 minutes ago, someone was also back._

_‘’Oh you are already back? Great, I’m hungry.’’ Jooheon said, when the two stepped into the kitchen where Jooheon was reading the note._

_Kihyun looked at Shownu, and Shownu look at Kihyun._

_‘’Fuck. We forgot to go to the shop.’’ Both said in unision, and Jooheon swore he didn’t face slam his head into the table, because of how stupid the team parents are._

‘’HAHAHAH,’’ Changkyun was laughing so hard, clutching his stomach, ‘’I can’t believe this. You two are just…. Hahahhahhah’’ he fell into another laughing fit.

However, his laughing was brought to an abrupt end when his phone rang.

‘’It’s Youngjae.’’ Changkyun’s eyes were wide. He held the phone and reread the name millions of times, making sure he is reading it correctly.

‘’Answer it!’’ Kihyun encouraged.

‘’AAAA KIHYUN!!! I’m scared.’’ Changkyun grew more panicky.

Kihyun pressed answer for Changkyun, and he had nothing left to do than to answer.

‘’Hello?’’ he finally answered. His voice was so small, maybe Youngjae didn’t even hear him.

‘’Oh Changkyun hi. Are you still up for the piano lessons?’’ The voice at the other line asked.

What piano lessons? Oh.

‘’Yes, of course.’’ Changkyun finally managed to get his voice out, sounding more like himself.

‘’How does Thursday work for you? I have the entire day free.’’ Youngjae’s cheerfulness was contagious, it made Changkyun relax little by little.

‘’Hold on a second.’’ The rapper said, and then covered the phone speaker.

‘’Kihyun, do we have anything on Thursday?’’ He asked, praying that there is nothing.

‘’We have radio show in the morning, but that’s it, the rest of the day is free, unless Shownu doesn’t decide to make us practice our dances.’’

‘’Ok. Thanks.’’ Changkyun said, and got back to his phone.

‘’Youngjae? You still there?’’ he asked.

‘’Yes.’’ Even from one word he felt the energy emit from the other.

‘’I have afternoon off.’’

‘’OOoooh that’s great. I’ll pick you up after that from your dorm. I’ll ask Mark to play my personal driver.’’ Youngjae laughed at his own little joke.

Changkyun could have listened to that for the rest of his life.

‘’See you on Thursday then?’’ It sounded more like a question to his own ears that Changkyun wanted to die.

‘’It’s a date. See you later.’’ Youngjae said and immediately ended the call.

Leaving poor Changkyun gaping.

A date…

‘’Changkyun, you okay?’’ Kihyun was concerned, waving his hand in front of Changkyun’s eyes who seemed to not react to anything.

‘’He said it’s a date….’’ Changkyun whispered, his cheeks felt a little hot.

‘’Oh Kyunnie that’s great!’’ Kihyun felt relief, afraid that Youngjae might have said something to hurt him, but he didn’t.

‘’What day today is?’’ Changkyun yelled out of nowhere.

‘’Monday. Eesh I’ve told you before, you don’t have to scream so much.’’ Kihyun’s scolding mode was on.

‘’Is our son going on a date?’’ Shownu was leaning on the kitchen door, and Changkyun swore this was the most dad Shownu has ever looked.

‘’Were you eavesdropping?’’ Kihyun clicked his tongue, turning a back on Shownu.

Shownu walked towards Kihyun, wrapping his arms around Kihyun’s waist. Kihyun softened at that.

Changkyun looked at the scene, hoping that one day he will have this what Shownu and Kihyun have.

He walked out of the room, leaving the two lovebirds alone.

He wants what Shownu and Kihyun have.

He wants that with Youngjae.

Changkyun took out his phone to set a notification on the phone for Thursday, but honestly, it’s not like he needs that.

He would never forget anything when it comes to him.

And he was already counting the days. Wondering about what Youngjae is up to.

 

**

‘’Oi Jackson,’’ Jaebum knocked on the other’s shoulder, making the other jump out of his seat.

‘’Dude, I almost died.’’ Jackson rubbed his chest, trying to glare angrily but failed.

‘’What’s up with Youngjae?’’ He pointed at the figure standing at the other end of the room.

‘’What do you mean? He’s fine. He is just standing there.’’ Jackson looked confused, is Jaebum finally going crazy?

Jinyoung appeared out of nowhere, putting one arm around Jackson shoulder.

‘’He means the fact that our visual over there is in love.’’ Jinyoung said, sitting across Jackson.

‘’He dropped that info, laughed and walked away without telling me anything.’’ Jaebum complained.

‘’Oh wow, he is serious?’’ Jackson ran his hand through his hair. ‘’You know I.M?’’

‘’Shownu’s I.M?’’ Jaebum looked surprised.

‘’Since when is he Shownu’s?’’ Jackson slapped him on the arm.

‘’You know, if you and I weren’t together, I’d think you were in love with Shownu.’’ Jinyoung pulled Jackson into his lap.

‘’Please, I have you. What else do I need.’’ Jackson said, interlocking their hands.

‘’Anyhow, aren’t they both around the same age?’’ Jinyoung asked, pulling Jackson even closer.

They kept talking about Youngjae and Changkyun, that they didn’t even notice someone approaching them.

‘’Where’s Mark? I need to ask him something.’’ Youngjae asked the trio, who was discussing the deepest desires of Youngjae’s heart, and he was none the wiser.

They all shut up immediately.

‘’Isn’t he getting his makeup done?’’  Jinyoung opened his mouth because Jackson and Jaebum were probably thinking about their entire life and what led them here to this moment, thinking, what are the chances Youngjae heard them.

‘’Ah, thanks hyung.’’ Youngjae smiled widely, giving him a hug, not only him but Jackson, because Jackson was blocking his access, before running off.

‘’Look at him go.’’ Jackson said, as he was watching Youngjae skip further and further away.

‘’They grow up so fast.’’ Jinyoung wiped away his nonexistent tears.

‘’You two are such typical parents.’’ Jackson laughed, before turning back to his phone. He needs to ask Jooheon everything he knows about Changkyun and Youngjae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta love how everyone is slowly catching on, but Youngjae and Changkyun are still so oblivious,,,  
> i mean i know i'm the author and all,i have the control ( atleast i should but practice shows otherwise) , can't i just already get them together??  
> my brain: no, suffer like the readers~~  
> me: well okay then,,,


	4. Chapter 4

‘’How do I look?’’ Changkyun looked in to the mirror.

‘’Why are you wearing, I don’t even know what it is… never mind that, the real question is where did you even get that? You need Wonho’s help now.’’ Jooheon scratched his neck as he was eyeing the poor boy up and down and down and up.

‘’You need Wonho-hyung’s help.’’ Jooheon said. ‘’Also I don’t understand why are you trying so hard. Youngjae will probably come here wearing a shirt with food stains from when he was ten and you are out here trying to look like a millionaire.’’

‘’WONHO-HYUNG!’’ Changkyun yelled, god he is nervous he can’t even dress himself. He was more than certain that he was wearing his pants inside out and the socks were definitely from two different pairs. But Jooheon was trying to spare his already nonexistent dignity at this point.

‘’WHAT?’’ Wonho screamed back, walking towards Changkyun’s room with a bowl of ramen.

‘’I’m offended.’’ Was the first thing Wonho said, when he saw the mess that is his maknae Changkyun.

‘’Hyung, you deal with this, I’ve seen too much. I feel like I need to go watch ten different fashion shows to recover from this.’’

‘’Why are you all so rude to me?’’ Changkyun was pouting at the two hyungs who were judging him.

‘’Waaa he is so adorable Jooheon.’’ Wonho cooed, putting away the empty bowl, just so he could pinch the maknae’s cheeks.

Changkyun just let it happen, it wasn’t the first time, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last time his members did that.

‘’Okay,’’ Wonho finally let go and suddenly turned serious. Jooheon had left, he wasn’t going to deal with this anymore.

‘’Let’s go to my wardrobe, I should have older clothes that should fit you.’’ He put his arm around the miserable rapper and started to walk out of the room.

‘’What’s wrong with my clothes?’’ Changkyun asked, offended. How dare, he was the most fashionable out of all of them in this group.

‘’No.’’ Was all Wonho said, before reaching his room.

‘’Stand here.’’ Wonho said and dove into his closet, he had just the right outfit in his head.

When he found what he was looking for he grinned. ‘’Put these on. They should fit you, I was less muscly back then.’’

Changkyun changed his clothes in the speed of light, because Youngjae was going to pick him up soon.

‘’Perfect!’’ Wonho clapped his hands. ‘’If Youngjae isn’t in love with you, he will after seeing you in this. You should have come to me earlier.’’

‘’Thanks hyung, you saved me.’’ Changkyun was smiling widely as he was staring at himself in the mirror, he didn’t even notice that the rest of the members were standing on the door looking at their youngest with affection.

‘’Our puppy is all grown up.’’ Minhyuk jumped away from the group to hug the life out of Changkyun.

‘’You are going to kill me Minhyuk.’’ Changkyun faked being out of breath.

Minhyuk let go abruptly. ‘’Sorry hahaha.’’ He was not sorry, not at all.

‘’You took so long. Youngjae has been waiting for 10 minutes for you.’’ Hyungwon said, a glint in his eyes, Changkyun missed it.

‘’OH MY GOODNESS,’’ Changkyun screamed, ‘’why didn’t anyone tell me.’’

‘’Relax,’’ Kihyun glared at Hyungwon, ‘’ he is messing with you. It’s actually been 20 minutes.’’

Changkyun was desperately looking at Shownu, hoping that the leader will tell him the truth, something good, something to ease his mind.

‘’Don’t listen to them Kyunnie. Youngjae will be here in a few minutes.’’

‘’You are no fun Shownu.’’ Kihyun whined, hand securely on his shoulder.

‘’You didn’t say that last night.’’ Shownu whispered, only Kihyun heard that. Making the shorter one blush and almost run away. But he didn’t, he walked, really fast.

‘’What’s wrong with him?’’ Jooheon asked, looking at Kihyun’s back.

Everyone just shrugged.

‘’I’ll be going then.’’ Changkyun said, and tried to push through everyone who was blocking the door entrance.

He got through them, but after being patted on the head by everyone, wishing him the best, as if he was going to the war.

Sometimes his hyungs are a bit too embarrassing and too much.

 

**

 

‘’Why do you hate me so much Bam?’’ Youngjae asked, throwing himself on the bed. Why was dressing up suddenly the hardest thing he has ever done. Even training to become an idol wasn’t this hard.

‘’I don’t hate you. I hate your choice in clothes.’’ Bambam picked another shirt. ‘’Here put this on.’’ And threw that to Youngjae. They have been at it for 3 hours now, good thing they don’t have anything planned for a few days.

‘’This is like the umpteenth shirt I’ve tried on. I’m tired.’’

‘’Hey you asked for my help,’’ Bambam let out sigh, he loves Youngjae but oh my god is the boy high maintenance right now.

‘’How’s it going?’’ Mark peeked in through the door, waiting for Youngjae to get ready. He was supposed to play a personal car driver to him.

‘’How much time do we have left?’’ Youngjae suddenly stood up from the bed, almost blacked out because of that.

‘’I’ll give you 10 more minutes, and then we are going to go.’’ Mark said, and left them to deal with it.

‘’Listen, just,’’ BamBam sighed, ‘’I don’t think I.M will care that much about what you are wearing. It’s not like it’s a date. You were going to teach him the piano were you not?’’

‘’But I want it to be.’’ Youngjae looked sullen.

‘’This is my final choice and if you aren’t going to pick these, you are on your own.’’ BamBam handed him a hoodie he recently bought but hadn’t had a chance to wear. What a sacrifice he was making for this hopeless boy.

‘’You owe me.’’ BamBam said and left, a content smile on his face, he knew he succeeded at this.

‘’THANK YOU!’’ Youngjae yelled and dashed by him, to Mark who was probably ready to whoop his ass for making him wait.

‘’Ready?’’ Mark asked, looking away from his phone for a second.

‘’Yes, let’s go.’’

‘’You are so enthusiastic. Does I.M know this is a date?’ Mark was asking, but focusing on the road ahead.

‘’It’s not a date. It’s just two friends getting together, one is teaching the other an instrument.’’ Youngjae was explaining.

‘’But you want it to be more…’’

‘’Hell yeah I do. But I want to be his friend first. I want him to feel comfortable around me.’’ Youngjae looked out of the car window, everything was passing by him so fast.

‘’You sounded like an old man just now. Good luck with that.’’ Mark said and after that no other words were exchange between them.

 

**

 

Their meeting was so awkward, Mark wanted to get back into his car and drive out of the country, and all the 6 of Monsta X suddenly thought of ten other things they’d rather do than stay here and watch this wreck.

It was Mark who spoke up first, bless his soul.

‘’Well it was nice seeing you, we should get together sometime, all of us.’’ Mark smiled, and said his byes.

‘’Yea definitely.’’ Jooheon was quick to agree, others nodded along, approving that plan.

‘’They are like overbearing parents, aren’t they?’’ Youngjae whispered to Changkyun, who in return nodded. They certainly were, how embarrassing, they are grown men.

At least the ride to Youngjae’s place was lively, all three making small talk and laughing.

 

**

 

‘’Do you want to eat anything before we get started?’’ Youngjae opened the fridge looking for something to eat. ‘’Or a drink?’’ He pulled out a bottle of juice.

‘’Anything but ramen.’’ Changkyun said, all emotions gone. ‘’We have been eating nothing but ramen for three days, because no one can say no to Wonho.’’

Youngjae bursted out laughing, Changkyun grinned silently.

‘’Alright let me see what I can do.’’ Youngjae said. ‘’You can sit here or do you want to help?’’

‘’Do you doubt my skills?’’ Changkyun asked, his pride was on the line.

‘’I don’t know, I mean I know Kihyun is the one who does the most cooking in your dorm….’’ Youngjae looked in to the distance dramatically, poking fun at Changkyun. When he turned his attention back to the other, Changkyun was already rolling up his sleeves.

‘’Let’s do it.’’

They settled for making a simple fried rice, it was easy and fast.

‘’Hey didn’t you have a dog?’’ Changkyun asked, remembering that little fact, because he didn’t see Coco anywhere.

‘’He is with Mark right now.’’

‘’Ah, I wanted to pet him.’’ Changkyun looked a little sad, reminding Youngjae of a puppy. He almost petted the guy.

‘’Next time I’ll make sure Coco is at my care.’’ Youngjae said, and it made Changkyun smile instantly.

‘’Okay are you ready for your lesson? Let’s go.’’ Youngjae said cheerfully, Changkyun followed him to a room where there was a classic black piano. It was beautiful.

Youngjae went over few facts he thought Changkyun should know before starting with the basics. Changkyun listened attentively and nodding his head as to show he was paying attention.

It was barely 10 minutes in.

‘’Everything alright with you?’’ Youngjae asked, a little bit of worry in his voice.

‘’Uh, yea why.’’ Changkyun said, a little dazed.

‘’You have been pressing down the piano key for the past two minutes.’’ Youngjae pointed at Changkyun’s hand.

He quickly pulled his hand away as if he got burned and blushed. Nice job Changkyun, looking like a fool in front of Youngjae.

‘’Let’s start from the beginning again yes?’’ Youngjae eyed the other one, wondering what’s up with him.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Changkyun suddenly said and stopped trying to play further. His heart was beating a little too fast.

‘’What for? You are doing fine.’’ Youngjae said.

‘’I don’t like the piano that much. I just said because you said you liked it.’’ There was no going back now. Changkyun was dying on the inside. He probably ruined everything now.

‘’Why did you agree to this then?’’ Youngjae was surprised.

‘’I just wanted to spend more time with you. But I didn’t know how or what to say.’’ Changkyun refused to look at the other, his eyes were casted on the keys, jumping from whites to blacks and back again.

He stopped when he suddenly heard a laughter come next to him. Was Youngjae laughing at him. Changkyun wanted to run.

‘’Kyunnie, all you had to do was ask. We could do anything you want; we can find something to do. I feel like I’ve wasted your time with this,’’ Youngjae was gesturing at the piano, ‘’I would love to spend more time with you, anything is fine by me.’’ Youngjae threw his arm around Changkyun’s shoulders.

Suddenly he felt lighter than he did before, finally he felt more relaxed.

‘’Do you want to continue or shall we go out to find something else to do?’’ Youngjae asked.

‘’Nah, we can continue, I just felt bad about lying and I needed to get that off my chest.’’ Changkyun smiled at Youngjae.

And no, Youngjae didn’t scream inside about how cute Changkyun was or how he wanted to kiss that boy who made him almost give BamBam a breakdown about clothes.

‘’I’ve lost focus, let’s do something else.’’ Youngjae smiled, already cooking up other activities to do.

 

They settled down to watching movies, turns out they have same favorite ones. The amount of garbage food they bought, both of their group members would give them a good scolding, except they are not there and for all they care, they can suck it.

Changkyun hadn’t have had so much fun in ages, talking and discussing the movie, sometimes talking about their selves.

He was learning so much about Youngjae, Changkyun couldn’t help but fall more for him. And Youngjae was certain he found the one people always talk about.

Time flew by, and they both had fallen asleep, Youngjae leaning on Changkyun’s shoulder.

They were in a blissful sleep, until Changkyun’s phone rang, waking him up.

‘’Nnn, yes.’’ Changkyun mumbled into the phone, glancing at the body next to him, only to see him still be deep in sleep.

‘’We were worried. It’s already past midnight. Are you still at Youngjae’s place?’’ Kihyun asked.

‘’Yes.’’ He answered.

‘’Will you come back or will you stay there? If you stay there we can pick you up in the morning to go filming.’’

‘’Did you stay up waiting for me? I’m so sorry Kihyun.’’ Changkyun felt so bad about making others worry about him.

‘’It’s fine. Okay good night, we will see you in the morning.’’ Kihyun softened, he was ready to scold him, but decided not to do that today.

‘’Good night hyung.’’ Changkyun said and with that the call ended. He put the phone away and fell back to sleep immediately. Feeling someone grab his hand in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it just me or do the chapters keep getting longer? ,,, i m sorry hahaha  
> #amessfromyourlocalmess


	5. Chapter 5

2 weeks.

It has been 2 weeks since Changkyun last saw Youngjae in real. He missed him. Still remembering their hangout like it was yesterday. Still remembering that lingering touch as he fell as sleep, not really sure if it happened or not.

Sure, they kept talking on phone and messaging at any given moment. Changkyun almost lost his phone privilege because of that. Because he promised Kihyun he’d help him clean the dorm. But when it was time for cleaning, Kihyun found his sorry ass video calling Youngjae.

And Kihyun was not about to show his ugly side to the younger one the other side of the phone.

 

‘’I’ll let it pass this time, but next time…’’ Kihyun glared at Changkyun who nodded in agreement.

 

**

 

‘’I MISS CHANGKYUNNIE.’’ Youngjae whined about it every day to every member. They all had it up to here already. One more time and they are marching to MONSTA X door and abduct I.M. They love Youngjae, it’s just, there is only so much they can handle.

Jackson tried to console, but failed.

Mark tried to get his mind off with Coco, but failed.

Jaebum tried to distract him, but failed.

Yugyeom tried and Jinyoung ‘’tried’’.

BamBam didn’t even try, and it surprisingly worked. Because Youngjae just wanted to tell someone how he feels, he didn’t want any advice or anything.

‘’Just wait few more days Youngjae, and we are back in Korea.’’ Jaebum reminded him, after Youngjae had went on another _I miss Changkyun_ spree.

 

**

 

 ‘’I’m losing my hair; it’s turning gray and I’m losing my hair Hyunwoo.’’

‘’Why?’’ Hyunwoo, the man of many words. Someone write this down, it is almost iconic.

‘’Changkyun and Youngjae.’’ Kihyun said.

‘’What about them?’’

‘’EVERYTHING.’’ Kihyun yelled, startling Hyunwoo.

‘’Leave them be Ki. They’ll figure it out. You did and Changkyun takes after you, so don’t worry.’’ He pulled Kihyun against him by the hips. Kihyun instinctively wrapped his hands around his shoulders.

‘’I hope you are right.’’ Kihyun brushed his hand through Hyunwoo’s hair. ‘’YAH! What do you mean he takes after me?’’

Hyunwoo only hugged him tighter, hiding his grin into Kihyun’s shirt.

Someone was clearing his throat behind Kihyun.

It was no one other than Changkyun.

‘’Sorry to interrupt your moment, but can manager told me to get you Shownu-hyung.’’

Shownu stood up, but refused to let go of Kihyun, despite Changkyun still watching them like a hawk. But it was more like curiosity.

‘’Ki, love you.’’ Hyunwoo whispered letting go of him and leaving the kitchen.

‘’You are really red Kihyun. Are you getting sick?’’ Changkyun was worried for him.

‘’I’m fine Kyun.’’ Kihyun said with a smile, so Changkyun let it pass. He had an inkling of an idea Kihyun’s red cheeks might have something to do with Shownu anyways.

‘’Youngjae will be back on Tuesday right. Do you want to pick him up at the airport? I’m sure he’d appreciate it.’’ Kihyun asked, he had already talked this over with others anyways, everyone was eager about it. Youngjae himself was oblivious. Now they needed Changkyun to agree.

‘’Why do I have a feeling you are planning something.’’ Changkyun was eyeing Kihyun suspiciously. You never know with Kihyun.

‘’It was Hyungwon’s idea. And then Wonho was abroad it and dragged Minhyuk in it, and then they talked to Jooheon who contacted Jackson and…’’ Kihyun was blabbering, ‘’I swear it’s nothing more than just going to the airport Kyun. I see how you are sad about him being away. So, when they all came to me asking for permission, I agreed. You are not mad with me, are you? I mean you really don’t have to If you don’t want to.’’

‘’You guys did that for me?’’ Changkyun looked at Kihyun with surprised eyes. Has he really not hidden that sadness well. He knows he annoyed everyone with the texting and calling, but he thought he hide his sadness well.

‘’I’ll go.’’ Changkyun said, because Kihyun looked like he was about to die.

‘’Great,’’ Kihyun was overjoyed, maybe he gets to keep his hair after all.

 

**

 

‘’Sup Kyunnie.’’ Youngjae said the moment Changkyun answered the phone call.

In the middle of the night, at 2 o’clock.

Youngjae’s voice was so cheery and energetic, the complete opposite of Changkyun’s right now, because he was still half on the border or dreaming and being awake.

‘’Oh my god, I’m sorry, did I wake you.’’ Youngjae was feeling guilty.

‘’It’s fine really.’’ Changkyun cleared his throat. ‘’I always have time for you haha.’’ He added.

‘’Are you sure, you sound really tired.’’ Youngjae wouldn’t budge, he really cares for the other’s health.

‘’I promise I’m good.’’ Changkyun smiled alone in the dark, he enjoyed hearing Youngjae fuss over his well being.

‘’If you say so.’’ Youngjae still not fully believing it, but trusting Changkyun to be careful with his health. ‘’I’ll be boarding the plane in about an hour, finally coming back home.’’

‘’Did you visit Boston?’’ Changkyun asked, since Youngjae said it’s his mission when he heard Changkyun lived in Boston for some time.

‘’I did,’’ Youngjae said happily, ‘’I bought you a little souvenir from there. And for the rest of your members as an apology. I know Kihyun was angry with you and others were also a little frustrated with you were they not.’’

‘’Youngjae you didn’t have to. Also the others are not mad or anything don’t worry about it.’’ Changkyun tried to convince him.

‘’Are you sure? Waa that’s good to hear, I was afraid to face them.’’ Youngjae relaxed at that.

‘’Yes yes it’s alright, in fact they are asking me when you are coming back.’’ Changkyun laughed silently.

They kept talking until Youngjae had to board.

‘’I really miss you. Come back safely.’’ Changkyun said tiredly, he had been slipping in and out of sleep for the last ten minutes when talking on the phone.

Youngjae froze at that. Changkyun is really reserved with voicing emotions. He recovered quickly, he needed to answer the other. ‘’I miss you too. See you soon.’’ Youngjae finally answered.

There was silence at the other end of the phone, all he heard was soft breathing. Changkyun had fallen asleep, and he didn’t hear Youngjae.

‘’Sleep well.’’ Youngjae whispered before ending the call.

‘’What are you so happy about hyung?’’ Yugyeom asked Youngjae, handing him a cold bottle of coke.

‘’I’m just happy about going back to Korea. I really loved it here and meeting our fans, but I missed home.’’ Youngjae explained to the youngest.

‘’Just say Changkyun.’’ Yugyeom nudged him.

‘’Stop exposing me.’’ Youngjae

‘’You did that to yourself when you kept going around screaming like a cat in heat.’’

Youngjae literally gasped at that. ‘’MAKNAE!’’

‘’Shush you two,’’ Jinyoung turned to the two, ‘’everyone’s looking at you.’’

‘’Sorry hyung.’’ Youngjae and Yugyeom said in unison.

‘’It’s time.’’ Jaebum came with the manager ordering others to go.

Youngjae looked at his phone one last time, before going on a forever long flight.

 

_New message._

_From Changkyun._

_Sorry I fell asleep. Have a safe flight. I will see you soon._

 

Youngjae could feel his heartbeat rapidly beating against his chest. He can’t get home any quicker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to be painfully honest with you. I fucked up the names in chapter 3,,,, would you mind if I altered the ending of that? nothing much will change EXCEPT WHEN I WAS WRITING MY BRAIN WAS JAEBUM X JINYOUNG,, all these J names had me so dead confused,,, I almost dropped writing this fic for good because I realized my mistake when I started writing this chapter and debated for forever about whether to continue with the fuck up or not, and I realized I really cant live with that, when my brain was certain it was writing something else.
> 
> So here I am asking for your approval for it. I feel incredibly sorry and embarrassed for the mistake. I’m so sorry. Because I consider you, the readers of this, to be co writers for this fic, and I feel like I've let you down.
> 
> ~~SHINE FOREVER~~ *killed me*

**Author's Note:**

> that title is a moutful,,, ~~


End file.
